Does everything really happen for us?

It is common to hold the belief that everything happens for us, not to us. For a while, I believed this too. However, as I delved deeper into self-awareness, I realized that this perspective oversimplifies reality. The notion that “everything happens for us” can lead us to accept destructive experiences as essential teachers, suggesting that when we overcome them, we gain invaluable wisdom. This sounds empowering, but it isn’t the full truth.

Each of us already possesses an internal set of guidelines and wisdom. When we face and overcome obstacles, we may feel that we’ve acquired life-changing lessons. In reality, what we have often done is remove barriers that were preventing us from accessing those inner guidelines. It’s not the experiences themselves that teach us; rather, overcoming them allows us to reconnect with our innate understanding.

Believing that “everything happens for us” can be harmful when passed on to our children, as it sets them up to view destructive experiences as necessary. This perpetuates cycles of harm and normalizes suffering as a means to growth.

Let’s be clear: suffering is not what makes us stronger or better—love does. Limiting and destructive beliefs erode our strength and negatively impact all aspects of life. Suffering distorts our perception of ourselves, of others, and of reality itself. It affects how we interpret information, delays our development and evolution, and makes us more susceptible to external influences. Ultimately, it distracts us from what truly matters. These dynamics benefit a system that upholds, promotes, and reinforces limiting beliefs to control behavior and dictate the course of our lives.

Can We Break Free?

Yes, but mere awareness is insufficient. One must be truly awake. Only when we are fully awake can awareness become an ally that helps dismantle limiting beliefs imposed by family and societal structures. Awake individuals are willing to explore their inner world in search of beliefs, tendencies, values, emotions, and unresolved childhood issues that influence behavior in unhelpful ways—and to address them head-on.
This inner work leads to evolution. We become New Human Beings who can live without unnecessary suffering, organize and elevate all areas of life, shield ourselves and our children from harmful influences, achieve genuine success, and uphold our core humanity.

The Path Forward

The way forward begins with a conscious decision to reject the narrative that suffering is essential for growth. Instead, we must understand that growth is most profound when rooted in love, compassion, and authentic self-awareness. To break the chains of limiting beliefs, we must commit to deep, consistent inner work—an unflinching look at the values, patterns, and unresolved pains that shape our behavior. This includes detaching from the system that seeks to control our behaviors through reinforced limiting beliefs and societal norms. By stepping outside this system, we reclaim the power to act in alignment with our true selves. This work isn’t just personal; it transforms families, communities, and the generations that follow. The true path forward is one where we nurture resilience, not through pain, but through mindful action and unconditional love. When we shift our focus from surviving hardship to fostering genuine connection and self-understanding, we pave the way for a future defined not by the echoes of suffering, but by the boundless potential of a life fully lived. The time to begin this journey is now.